“He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

We are rapidly approaching the joy and wonder of the holiday season!  Thoughts of family gatherings, joy, laughter and delicious smells emanating from the kitchen bring happy memories of days gone by.  But, for some experiencing the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be excruciatingly painful.  They would rather skip the days from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day and begin again in January.

Suffering is real.  Grief, despair and depression come in waves that cannot be wished away.  God doesn’t always say “yes” to our prayers for healing, but He always hears and answers in love to His people according to His purposes.  When we can’t understand, we need to rely on His righteous character as shown in His Word.  He has a plan that might seem mysterious to us, but in His sovereign will, it will lead to a closer, stronger walk with Him.  God teaches us lessons in the “valley” that only we can learn there!

My niece lost her husband to cancer when he was only 38 years old.  She was left a widow with four young children.  Life was uncertain, it was scary to think of the future without their father, but she always knew that the Lord had not forsaken her.  Seventeen years later when the Lord took my husband “home,” she sent me this message:  “My heart ached for you when you were going through the process of watching the love of your life suffering with pain and struggling to live, then watching him pass from this world into his heavenly home.  Cancer is an awful thing.  How I remember, like it was yesterday, caring for and watching my husband.  It was so hard and sad, but heaven seemed so close and the Lord so near.  When he died, it was so amazing to think, he was actually with his Lord and Savior!  I wanted to go too, but my work was not done here.  Don’t we all look forward to the day when we will be with Him and our loved ones who have gone before?  They are waiting for us and our dear Lord Jesus, who has been waiting even longer!  How strange are the Lord’s ways!”

The holidays can be the worst of times and the best of times!  The children might have concerns about certain traditions that have always been there.  Who will make our special breakfast?  If we aren’t going to Grandma’s, where will be go?  Shall we put up the lights outside?   They too will struggle with sadness and loneliness.  Encourage the children to talk about their hurts and worries, then point them to the only One who can bring hope and peace.  “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age,” Matthew 28:20.  “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world,” John 16:33.  Children grieve, too and they need help in preparing for the changes.  Think about making new memories and include them in the planning!

Most of all, don’t forget what the true meaning of Christmas really is.  It’s about what Christ has done for us, God came near in the person of Jesus.  The holidays should be a source of hope for those who are suffering because Christmas reminds us that we are loved by God.  “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16.  God is our refuge!

Your friend, Jean