“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  Ephesians 5:33

 Valentine’s Day comes every year in February.  Red roses, flowers of all colors and heart shaped boxes of chocolates fill store shelves.   Loving couples send Valentine cards to each other expressing their love and children give away cartoon valentines to schoolmates.  It’s all very fun!

For many couples, a wedding, honeymoon and start of a new life together are an exciting adventure!  But oftentimes, the excitement wears off, the honeymoon is over and thoughts come to mind that are completely unexpected.  Instead of joy, comes discouragement.  Love becomes toleration.  Thoughts come, “perhaps I married the wrong person.”  “Maybe I should give up and find the right person.”  “God will forgive me!”  However, there is a better way to prevent these desperate thoughts!  Let’s call them the Three C’s of marriage and all are important.

-Commitment that is lifelong.  Jesus said, “Haven’t you read, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:41

Storms will come in many forms that test the foundation of your marriage:  financial, health, loss of a job, struggles with children, blended families experience them more than usual. If your marriage is built on the shifting sand of feelings and a weak commitment to God, your “house” might fall with a crash.  A marriage built on a strong commitment to vows made to God and one another, and the solid rock of Jesus Christ can weather most storms that come.

-Communication that is open – God initiated communication.  He gave us words so we could get to know one another and communicate with Him.  As blood is to the body, so is communication in marriage.  Wives want to know their husbands at a deep level and are sometimes frustrated with the lack of emotional intimacy.  Share openly and honestly your deepest needs, hurts, desires and dreams.  Listen with genuine interest, ask questions, set aside time to talk and pray with each other.  If you disagree on an issue, disagree with honor without nagging, arguing and preaching.

-Companionship that is spiritual – Couples are on a journey together.  “Husbands love (agape) your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church….that it should be holy and without blemish.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies,” Eph. 5:25-28.  Jesus took the initiative to love the church even when the church didn’t want Him!  He died for it, sanctified and cleansed it.  Husbands, you are Christ’s representative in your home and Jesus says to you, “Go and do the same to your wives because then you are acting like Me when I reached out and saved you.”

Wives, Jesus wants you to honor your husband.  When you submit to his leadership, you are doing it as if your husband was standing in the place of the Lord Himself!  Pray together!  It’s the pathway to intimacy.  We are never smarter than God!

When a husband loves his wife like Jesus, and a wife honors her husband as to the Lord Himself, that marriage becomes a WOW!

 Your friend, Jean (from a wedding homily by Pastor Terry)