“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you.” 

Colossians 3:13

I once read a story of two unmarried sisters who lived together.  Because of a slight disagreement over an insignificant issue, they stopped speaking to each other.  Unwilling to move out of their small house, they continued to use the same rooms, eat separately at the same table, and sleep in the same bedroom.  Without one word!!  A chalk line divided the sleeping area into two halves, separating a doorway and fireplace.  Each could come and go, cook and eat, sew and read without crossing into her sister’s domain.  Through the night, they would each hear the breathing of their foe….but because neither was willing to take the first step to reconciliation and forgiveness, they coexisted for years in silence!  Amazing!!

Last week in the grief group I attend, we talked about the need to forgive those who might have wronged us or our loved ones.  As I sat listening to the others share, I began to think that maybe I had some issues that I needed to face.  Could it be that I held anger in my heart against several people who had not wronged me, but had wronged loved ones who were now with the Lord?  The Lord began to speak to me and I realized I needed to ask Him to do a healing work in my heart.  If I want my life to “preach the gospel,” I have to live in such a way as to “adorn the gospel of Jesus Christ.” Yes, I want that “vertical grace,” the forgiveness of my sins……God has forgiven me on the basis of Jesus dying on the cross from my sins.  He has made me his own daughter, given me all the riches I have in Christ, but do I want to extend that grace to a brother or sister who has offended me or a loved one?

What about “horizontal grace?”  That would be grace and forgiveness extended to a brother or sister.  There’s a little ditty that goes like this:  “To live above with saints we love, oh that will be glory!!  To live below with saints we know, well, that’s another story.”  How true!!  The attitude of love that I display toward my brothers and sisters in Christ will be in direct proportion to how much I appreciate the grace that has been shown to me!  When I meditate on God’s grace, it is not only incredibly humbling, it leads me to repentance.  It overwhelms my heart in adoration, praise and worship.  The pouring into my heart by God through the Holy Spirit gives me a love for the body of Christ that was not there before!  “….God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”  Romans 5:5. 

So, how can I love others if I have anger in my heart?  “Forgive as the Lord forgave you!”  “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:14-15.  Forgiving doesn’t mean you condone what the person did, it means you’re giving it to a righteous Judge who will take care of the situation.  It frees you from a lifetime of bondage to a bitter and hard heart.  Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation, it fact you may never get reconciliation because that requires repentance on both sides. But, you will get a clear conscience before God and a heavy load will be lifted off your shoulders!  “If you, Lord, kept a record of sins…who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness,” Psalm 103:3-4.  I hope the sisters in our story found it in their hearts to forgive each other and not live a lifetime of bitterness and resentment!

Your friend, Jean