“…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  Psalm 139:16

Our GriefShare group got together last night for our 13 week “wrap-up” and celebration at a local Italian restaurant.  We brought favorite pictures of our loved ones and passed them around the table.  It was fun to see the “then” and “now” pictures, youthful vs. the aging faces of those dear to our hearts.  There were smiles and tears as we reviewed our lives together, then thought about facing the future without them.

We all agreed the verses that meant a great deal to us were taken from Psalm 139:15-16, “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” We talked about the fact that God knew our loved ones before they were conceived and He ordained a certain number of days for them.  When their days were completed, He took them home!  I have thought of that verse many times as I walk through my grief journey.  God didn’t say it would be easy, but He wants us to do what we’re called to do and move ahead.  It doesn’t mean forgetting our loved one, but rather cherishing their memory, taking that person’s legacy with us and moving forward.   Many widows I’m acquainted with have never lived alone, so to trust the Lord in everything is a big step.  “Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.  They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots deep into the water,” Jeremiah 17:6. Other favorite verses were taken from Psalm 1:1-3, they imply “delighting in the Word,” “meditating on it day and night,” “bearing fruit, and prospering for God.” 

We recognized that we might be missing our loved ones, but they were not missing us!  They were with their Savior in that glorious place called Heaven and they would not want to come back, even for us!  On our journey, the Lord has given us tools that we can use to help others.  One member said although she hadn’t lost a spouse, she has been able to help people she comes in contact with either on the phone or through casual conversations.  She was overjoyed to pass on verses she had learned to help other hurting people.  Isn’t that really what God wants for us as members of His Body?  A grief group gives us the opportunity to share our feelings in a safe environment with others who understand. We felt very supported and encouraged.  One member came to a powerful realization that although her father was no longer on earth, her Heavenly Father was greater and would always be with her!

Here are six goals of grief that might be helpful:  1)  Accept the loss – from your loving Heavenly Father  2)  Turn to God – if you turn away, you will become a stunted shrub! Jeremiah 17:5  3) Express emotions – even Jesus wept! John 11:35  4)  Establish a new/different identity – Life is an adventure! Get involved in a different ministry.  5) Create a new normal/reality – Focus on blessing others!  6)  Store your memories – savor them with joy!

My friend Cathy, who grieves her husband, says her favorite verse is:  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13. 

Your friend, Jean