“Older women…..are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands…”   Titus 2:3-4 (ESV)

I recently had the distinct privilege of giving the devotional at a young women’s bridal shower.  Two beautiful Christian young people were getting married in the Lord and setting up a Christian home.  In so doing, they would be passing on the line of faith to the next generation!  But how do you love a man who is so different from yourself?  The answer came with the following story in the life of Dr. E.V. Hill, now with the Lord.

This is taken from the book, “Five Essential for Lifelong Intimacy,” written by James Dobson. “Dr. Hill was a dynamic black minister and the senior pastor at Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles.  He lost his precious wife, Jane to cancer.  In a very moving message, Dr. Hill spoke about Jane at her funeral and described the ways this ‘classy lady’ made him a better man.

As a struggling young preacher, E.V. had trouble earning a living.  That led him to invest the family’s scarce resources, over Jane’s objections, in the purchase of a service station.  She felt he lacked the time and expertise to oversee his investment, which proved to be accurate.  Eventually the station failed and E.V. lost his shirt in the deal.  It was a critical time in the life of this young man.  He had failed at something important and his wife would have been justified in saying, “I told you so.”  But Jane had an intuitive understanding of her husband’s vulnerability.  Thus, when E.V. called to tell her he had lost the station, she simply said, “All right.”

E.V. came home that night expecting his wife to be distraught over his failure.  Instead, she sat down with him and said, “I’ve been doing some figuring.  I figure you don’t smoke and you don’t drink.  If you smoked and drank, you would have lost as much as you lost in the service station.  So, it’s six in one hand and half-dozen in the other.  Let’s forget it.”  Jane could’ve shattered her husband’s confidence at that critical point.  The male ego is surprisingly fragile during times of failure and embarrassment.  E.V. needed her to say, “I still believe in you,” and that is the message she conveyed.

Shortly after the service station fiasco, E.V. came home one night and found the house dark.  When he opened the door, he saw that Jane had prepared a candlelight dinner for two.  E.V. thought this was a great idea and went to wash his hands.  In the bathroom, he unsuccessfully tried to turn on the light.  Then he went into the bedroom and flipped another switch.  Darkness prevailed!  The young pastor went back to the dining room and asked Jane why the electricity was off.  She began to cry.  “You worked so hard, and we’re trying, but it’s pretty tough, said Jane.  I didn’t have quite enough money to pay the light bill.  I didn’t want you to know about it, so I thought we would just eat by candlelight.”

Dr. Hill described his wife’s words with intense emotion.  “She could have broken my spirit; she could have demoralized me, but instead she said, ‘Let’s eat tonight by candlelight.”

Jane played a huge role in strengthening and supporting her husband.  E.V. Hill became a powerful Christian leader.  Who would have believed that he needed his wife to build and preserve his confidence?  She was his biggest cheer-leader!

Your friend, Jean