“Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
I call the above verse “Marriage 101.” It’s the foundation for all happy marriages. If the couple doesn’t put this verse into practice, they might find themselves going through difficult times. They might not even LIKE each other!
My husband and I did some marriage counseling over the years and it always amazed me how little both spouses understood this verse. The husband would have a long litany of complaints: If only she would do……….. If only she would be ……………. If only she would change……… and the list went on and on! My reaction was: “Do you love your wife?” When a man loves his wife like he loves himself, he will cherish her, love her and want to make her happy. A husband’s love inspires a woman to be the best she can be. It gives her the freedom to be what Jesus Christ wants for her! It helps her self- confidence, encourages her to leave her “comfort zone” and trust God for new ventures. The very best thing a man can do for himself, other than trusting God and putting Him first, is to love his wife! When a woman knows her husband loves her, there is very little she won’t do for him. God made us that way!!
The woman’s role is equally important. It’s interesting to note in the marriage chapter, Ephesians 5:22-33, there are only 3 verses for women and 6 for men! I brought that to my husband’s attention and he had to reluctantly agree!! Wives, do you honor your husband? The number 1 need of a man is to be honored by his wife. We need to submit to his leadership, praise and encourage him, affirm him, bless him and when we disagree, do it with honor. Keep nagging out of the relationship, it’s a destroyer and will tear down your marriage. Honor your man as a gift from God, receive him as Christ received you. Honoring him is not conditional and not something to be earned. God requires it!
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the Word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27. The husbands’ love is unconditional, sacrificial and active! That is the kind of love Christ has for you, for His church! He gave Himself! It’s not selfish love that uses your wife, criticizes her and points out her faults. It puts her first. We sacrifice for what we love most. Godly love comes from your love for the Lord.
The number 1 need of a wife is to be cherished by her husband and to feel she is #1 with him. And he is to “cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word.” There is nothing more attractive to a Christian woman, more romantic to her, than a husband who leads her spiritually! If you “cleanse” her like this, she will glow!
Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In making big decisions, pause until you both hear from God. If one is not sure of the direction to go, wait for each other. When God calls the husband, he calls the wife also. They go forward together!
Praying that you will enjoy many happy years together as God’s team—cherish the moments!!
Your friend, Jean
M