“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Corinthians 5:16-18.
While sitting in my favorite chair by the fire, coffee in hand and enjoying my quiet time, this verse in 1 Corinthians jumped off the page at me. How do we give thanks in all circumstances when our hearts are breaking? Our family is going through a particularly difficult week. The unthinkable happened! My dearly loved grandson with the beautiful heart was found unresponsive in his bed Sunday morning. He had died of an apparent drug overdose. His parents tried to rouse him for work but were unable to get a heartbeat. The emergency personnel came and administered two shots of Narcan, but our grandson was gone. When I heard the news, I thought, “How can this happen when we love him so much?” Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around!
We remember Taylor as a beautiful baby boy with blonde hair and blue eyes who came to live in our family. He grew into a sweet, kind, caring adult who loved his grandpa and helped care for him in his final days. Although he accepted Christ five years ago, he was not able to kick the addictions that dodged his life and brought unspeakable anguish to his parents and siblings. Taylor loved his family and fought to overcome the battle and seemed to win at times, only to fall again. The narcotics officer found that Taylor had taken fentanyl made to resemble OxyContin, a deadly combination. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…..” Psalm 46:1-2.
My daughter asked God to reassure her that Taylor was with Him and He sent several people to tell her Taylor had told them of his love for Jesus. He had told his mother the same thing, but in her pain she needed a reminder. She asked God to show her something directly from Him, a Bible verse or some other reminder.
Their family has a tradition about sunbeams, they consider them a “hug from God.” When their oldest son reported for duty in the Army, there were magnificent sunbeams covering the road. Their son was in the car ahead, and my daughter took pictures of his car driving through the sunbeams. There have been other instances of sunbeams over the years since. Today, the girls went to the store and on their return came excitedly to find their mother. “Mom, the sunbeams are still in the sky. Go look!” They led her to the backyard and she was stunned. There wasn’t just one sunbeam, they stretched across the sky! My daughter stood there transfixed for the next 45 minutes as the light changed, but rather than disappear, it just brought different sunbeams! She stood there….so moved and sobbing. She KNEW God was hugging her. She knew He was letting her know that He had Taylor and it was alright. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18.
God is near. It hurts so much but He is near and He knows how it feels to lose a son. So, we rejoice that we had Taylor for 26 years and we rejoice that he is out of pain and with the Savior. We pray and appreciate our dear friends who pray for us, lifting us up to the throne of grace. And we thank God in ALL circumstances, even when our hearts are breaking because that’s God will for us! He knows and understands.
Your friend, Jean (Grandma)