“A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” Proverbs 13:22.
Just this week I got the sad news that a very dear friend, Hal Denney was admitted to hospice and will be soon with his dear Savior. He is not fearful, he is joyful in the expectation that he will soon be with the Lord! Hal and his wife Dee were lifelong Navigators, a ministry that began with Dawson Trotman during World War II. My husband Terry and I had the privilege of coming along side Hal and Dee to assist in their Marriage Getaway weekends. They taught us so much by their words, prayers and example of what a godly, Christian marriage looked like. Hal usually ended the marriage weekends with a devotional that I would like to share with you.
“I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest – and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.” Proverbs 24:30-34.
Hal went on to explain that the field/vineyard is like the marriage relationship. The sluggard is a lazy, unconcerned person who ignores problems and does not realize his neglect until it’s too late. Thorns are the unpleasant actions that hurt the other person, such as sarcasm, criticism, belittling and not accepting the other’s differences or opinions. Weeds are the unwanted, unproductive, obnoxious growth that takes away the joy. This could be busyness, stress, disagreeing on basic issues such as finances, or child rearing. The stone walls are the commitment, love and affection you have for each other; your protection from the enemy, people or things that break up a marriage.
A garden full of thorns and weeds is not pleasant to work in. You look hard to find good fruit! So, in a marriage, a lazy, unconcerned person lets the weeds and thorns grow and the marriage deteriorates. The walls fall apart and the marriage is vulnerable to attacks of all kinds.
The proverb goes on: “I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw.” I applied this to my own marriage and learned something! When Hal and Dee heard of a couple getting divorced, they looked at their marriage and acknowledged they were not immune from the weeds and thorns. They worked at strengthening their “wall.”
Verse 33: A little sleep, slumber and folding of the hands to rest implies taking time off, not being alert to the weeds in the garden. Weeds grow up faster than plants! We can’t afford to neglect our marriage and say, “we’ll work on that later!”
Verse 34: Poverty comes like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. Poverty implies a poor relationship; the marriage has little value and scarcity is lack of intimacy, purpose, value or meaning. Suddenly the marriage has no purpose, no reason or motivation to go on. A bandit or armed man crashes or sneaks in when you least expect it and you are totally unprepared.
Hal encouraged us to deal with issues quickly, identify the weeds and pull them up. They will probably return from the seeds that are there, but don’t give up, be persistent and faithful. Dee is suffering from a form of dementia and Hal is 90 years old, but he still calls Dee his “bride.” A beautiful picture of Christ and His Church! Thank you Hal and Dee for living out a godly marriage, an inheritance for your children’s children!
Your friend, Jean